<3

derrierebender:

thetrillestqueen:

trebled-negrita-princess:

fish-dinner-connoisseur:

monkeys are better parents than white people

"Get yo lil ass back here and siddown somewhere"

Momma ain’t even have to move or look side ways good to snatch that baby up.

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» Super goober pale bros:

rampant-noodle:

i-caressed-my-keyboard-and:

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Lord bless the waiter that has to cater to these two.

i

was not expecting that

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Plays:
1,739,335 plays

annimate:

doctorprincess:

blutunez:

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oh my fuckign god

HOW

D-DOES WHAT

HOW DOES IT SYNC UP SO WELL WHAT

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pauladeenandporn:

when I first tweeted these I had to try to hide them from my two psychologist parents but then they got so big that my neighbor told them about it and so they sat me down to ask if I needed help.

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» I want to kiss you. I want to take your face in my hands and pull your lips to mine. I want to push in to your body with so much passion that it leaves you breathless. I want to taste you. I want to run my hands through the back of your hair and down to your waist. I want to feel your heartbeat against mine. I want to overwhelm you with my kiss. I want to lightly bite your lip after pressing against it. Soft. Hard. Back to soft. Back to hard. I want to feel you smile against my lips. I want to feel your skin beneath my fingertips. I want to kiss you with such intensity that once we finish, you’re left gasping, eyes closed, lips still moving in rhythm. I want to show you how much I want you.
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tags: #Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat #|: | #I.... #laugh or be dumbfounded

lesbeeanmovie:

greencarnations:

cinematicsymphony:

This is so accurate. At school, we literally have children who will watch our facial expressions to see if them falling is as bad as they think it might be.

CORRECT CHILD INJURY PROCEDURE:

  • do not react. at the most, maybe wince and go “ooooh”
  • go over to the child to assess panic level and severity of injury
  • if they’re like, dying, remain calm, but they’re probably not.
  • look them in the eye and ask, “you okay?” they will nod. possibly all teary-eyed. then ask, “are we gonna need to cut it off?”
  • the child is thrown off. if they giggle, you’re in the money. if they do not, put a bandaid on and do some sympathetic patting. they are probably a little teary. let the sad little bug sit out for a minute. they will quickly get bored.
  • works every time

"sad little bug" is the cutest and most accurate term ive heard used to describe a child because sometimes bugs are kinda super cute sometimes bugs are really fucking annoying and sometimes bugs are downright TERRIFYING

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listoflifehacks:

If you like this list of life hacks, follow ListOfLifeHacks for more like it!

Microwave Snacks You Can Make In A Mug Part 1 Here

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unf-hans:

hollyoakhill:

I haven’t thought of the context in this picture but I so you can think up your own scenario. I think that Hans and his ship was fighting an enemy ship, but lost and got captured. But Ariel, who was caught in the crossfire, got pissed and attacked the first person to fall in the water.

LIZ LOOK AT THIS AMAZING SHIT

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death-limes:

i hope this hasnt been done yet

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thedoctor874:

greencarnations:

watchingthedetective:

ohnoproblems:

xekstrin:

crash-mcbarason:

crash-mcbarason:

PLEASE TALK TO ME ABOUT THESE LIZARDS NOT ENOUGH PEOPLE TALK ABOUT THESE LIZARDS

"The New Mexico whiptail lizard is a crossbreed of a western whiptail which lives in the desert and the little striped whiptail that favours grasslands. The lizard is a female-only species that reproduces by producing an egg through parthenogenesis. Despite reproducing asexually, and being an all female species, the whiptail still engages in mating behavior with other females of its own species, giving rise to the common nickname "lesbian lizards"."

peOPLE DON’T KNOW ABOUT THE LESBIAN LIZARDS?

and people say humans are the most superior and intelligent organism on the planet, get real

WHY is no one calling them Lizbians?!

lezzards

This is too perfect. Just too perfect.

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sabriel-otp:

Gabriel version ] [ Castiel version ] [ Dean version ] [ logo credit ] [ The fundraiser ]

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nikaalexandra:

apparently it’s nineteen fucking twenty

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versaceslut:

versaceslut:

i made the logo cursive and its so cute <3

please stop messaging me about this. i didnt know i still had that tab open. im sorry okay?

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breelandwalker:

NORWEGIAN

FOREST

CATS

VIKING

KITTAHS

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eccentricfellow:

I like how when Vriska flips her shit she comes off sounding almost exactly like Karkat right down to the sarcasm.

Let me show you.

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Look at that rage. Look at those extended vowels. We’re talking about beyond just 8 here.

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Can you not sense the…

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